Say NO for an answer

I have been really nice throughout and I usually just let everyone decide where to or what to do for me except for myself. I have also been thinking whether or not I have plans for future. I think the first I want to change about myself is to decide for once and not let just anyone who is valueless to me to decide what to do for me. I been down and not happy due to my incurable illness but what more frustrating would be some of the friends that I thought could be a great friend but turn out to be not. I have seen more clearly from time to time that some friends like to be criticized and some like to be abused. It was funny however those that I treated them better would prefer others who basically critic and abuse them( very weird). In spite of all the dramas that I faced some friends really had thought me lesson about true friendship. There has been bad friends from KL, Kampar and Penang but not to forget the true friends that I gain which always supported me like D, C, J, K, Y, N, and G. Those friends were really there for me during my hardship and thought me that one must be humble, not showing off with your appearance( which I thought no one had achieved any yet in my group so let work it together), walk of fame only for those handsome and beauties, and say NO for an answer. People from Kampar, Penang and KL has been asking me why are you so nice that you are treating those bitches and bastards so nice and say yes to them all the time. This is a mistakes that I will not make in the future( I might not have any anyway ha ha ). Walk of fame is really not for me and anyone that I know probably because we are not that type and also don't have the appearance for all of us. I really have to be humble and make as much friends as possible to not only acquire help from them but also to help them back. Hopefully I may have a brighter future just like my brother who get a good job a bit through relationship which I envy and proud of to get such a high salary and allowances that pass through RM2,000.
The most important thing that I should do is to get back to the original me and get well soon. Next only would it be my future job and another half of my life. I know that people will not believe me and think that I am boasting or dreaming about something that I hav just said but mark my word that I will never be living my remaining days that I had to offer for myself like any of you bitches and bastards that only had fake fantasy and dramas in life. I will try my best to recover to my oldself and will ignore those jealousy losers in life that should only be my past. Next I will try to live a healthy and normal life not by just on diet but have some exercises as my daily routine(well not going to gym and A please don't go too because its not worth it sincerely if not prove me wrong) I will be more than anyone to be happy for you to get back to your size sincerely speaking. After that, I will start to plan for my future whether should I continue my life in either Penang, KL, Johor or Singapore if I am lucky I might get to Korea or Japan haha. I seriously don't put high hopes in overseas countries like England or Canada or even Australia where my further relatives are because the culture is too much of a different to me and even the height is an issue. That crossed out my daydreaming job as a model( I know I won't be one haha) as even in Asean countries 170 to 175 cm is consider short and that stop me thinking to be a model because my height is just normal. Lastly for the other half of me, I hope that you don't come so quickly as I think I wanna build up my career first because I really had bad relationship and I still think that I prefer to be with someone that could understand me well and accept all my weaknesses(which I think is hard to be found). But there were 3 friends that I miss the most that were Z, L, and M. I hope that the three of you will be able to see me for it has been a long time since we last meet. You guys were my best childhood friends ever even though the three of you live differently and I hope all three of you can meet each other because the three of you always lighten my mood when we thought back in the olden days.
Well I certainly do not know when my days will last but I do hope that I can finally be happier than I could have been and finally a word of advice is Don't do anything according to your wishes or what you think is right because it might turn out that most of the time you are wrong and like one of my friends would say " I believe in Karma" (I quotation). Please do only the goods from now on and if I could help you to turn the dark away and live the life of light, I will and glad to. Please for some of you no more dramas and cursing people and of course those who live in denial and think that you are better than anyone please change for your own good not mine(please just admit it ya especially you)ha ha . Before I end this post of mine, sincerely I wish all of you the best (yes including you) and have a better future inlife and not to forget congratulations to my brother for getting a high paid job that you are intereted in (the IT department) . Bye and hope that I still have much to offer to this blog in the future and to all my friends who and bad and nice to have a bright future also.